


Of Fur and Fire 3: Rise of McFluff

by ZargothraxOtterton



Series: Of Fur and Fire [3]
Category: Alestorm (Band), Gloryhammer (Band), Slipknot (Band), Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Church Burnings, Diggy Diggy Hole, Evil Wizards, Kidz Bop Music, Magic, Mustelids, Other, Power Metal - Freeform, T.A.M.E. Shock Collars (Zootopia), big chungus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27943826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZargothraxOtterton/pseuds/ZargothraxOtterton
Summary: After waking from a two week coma, Alister Otterton realizes that much has changed in Zootopia. The evil wizard Aires has taken complete control over the city, Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde are encased in stone, and every predator is forced to wear a "Tame Collar" that sends electrical shocks if the wearer is too agitated. However, Alister is led to a resistence leader who teaches him a new surprise. Is Alister really "the one"? Is he actually a true McFluff?
Relationships: Duke Weaselton (Zootopia)/Original Character(s), Emmitt Otterton/Mrs. Otterton, Gideon Grey/Travis, Judy Hopps & Nick Wilde, Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Series: Of Fur and Fire [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008492
Kudos: 4





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> At the end of the previous installment, Alister Otterton learned some new surprises, soon, he will find even more.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a dream, Alister awakens from his coma to find himself in a hospital, with a shocking "Tame Collar" around his neck.

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP ZOOTOPIA!” Corey Tailor screamed into his microphone (this is Corey Tailor the lead singer of Slipknotter, not my cousin).

It was a hot night at the Zoo2 Arena, a 40,000-capacity venue that Slipknotter had sold out. It is the largest concert venue in the city if you don’t include Zootennial Stadium (Which rarely even hosts concerts). Unlike other arenas, it was designed nearly exclusively for music. There is a large floor section and a lot of seating above it arranged amphitheater-style (it can sometimes host Basketball games as well). The furthest seats are nowhere near as far away as they are at Zootennial Stadium. I was front-and-center, right on the barricade.

Corey Tailor, who was also an otter, pranced around the stage in his white jumpsuit and white mask. The pit pushed against me and so did everyone ese in the crowd.

“GET YOUR FUCKING PAWS IN THE SKY MOTHERFUCKER!” He screamed as the band went into “Psychosocial.”

Jim Snoot and Mink Thompson, the two guitarists, banged their heads, while Tortilla Beaver and Clown Clawhan danced around on their elevated percussion kits. Coyote Jones was at his keyboard while Sid Weaselson ran around the stage. Jay Iceberg pounded on his drumkit while Armadillo Venturella played his bass.  
"I DID MY TIME! AND I WANT OUT!" Corey Tailor shouted into the microphone as we shouted back to him. The crowd was going fucking crazy. I was getting pushed against the barricade and dodging crowd surfers left and right. I fucking love this shit.

Suddenly, I heard some yelling behind me.

“ALISTER!” a voice was saying.

“Hey,” I said, “whoever that is, shut the fuck up. Slipknotter is playing Psychosocial live!”

“ALISTER!” the voice continued to shout. It was coming from the mosh pit.

“Alright, whoever the fuck you are, I’m coming to you,” I said. I went back into the mosh pit.

I couldn’t see anyone who could have possibly been calling my name. Everyone was into the groove of the show. The mosh pit was intense. It nearly stretched the entire floor section and there were even a few smaller mosh pits as well.

“BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!” An elephant shouted as he jumped into the air. Suddenly, I realized he was about to come down right on top of me.

“OH SHIT!” I said, as I tried to run from the falling pachyderm.

I was too late, and the gargantuan mammal crushed me.

I immediately woke up and nearly sat up but was restrained by something. As I came to, I looked around. This place was completely unfamiliar. There was an IV tube connected to my arm, and my bed was raised. The walls were all white and the light above was bright. I heard a beeping noise as well.

“Oh fuck,” I thought, “how the fuck did I end up here?”

Suddenly a Tayra doctor wheeled themselves over.

“Alister Otterton,” said the doctor, “that is your name. I am Dr. DeTayra.”

“Yes indeed,” I replied, “I know my name.”

“Some serious shit has happened,” they said, “You will have to catch up on what you missed.”

“Alright,” I said, “How the fuck did I get here?”

“You have been comatose for two weeks,” said the doctor, “what is the last thing you remember?”

“I have no fucking clue,” I responded, “I had a dream where I was at a Slipknotter show, and then got crushed by an elephant before waking up.” I moved my hands around and felt a collar around my neck. “WHAT THE FUCK IS ON MY NECK?!” I shouted.

I looked over at the musteline doctor and realized that they also had a collar around their neck as well. There was a little box with a green light on it.

“It is a very long story,” responded the tayra, “Basically, you were in a fight with an army of evil sheep wizards. All your friends were there and so was your family. They commenced the ‘great taming’ and you were found knocked out cold on the street shortly thereafter.”

Suddenly, things started to come back.

“Oh fuck,” I said, “The Hootswolf is dead, and Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde have been turned into stone,” I started to think about my family, and my bandmates. “IS MY FAMILY OKAY?! ARE ALL MY FRIENDS OKAY?!”

“All your friends are okay,” replied the doctor, “They are awake and in stable condition. You will be able to see them soon.”

“Okay thank you so much,” I said, “but what the fuck is this thing around my neck?”

“This,” said DeTayra, as they pointed to their own neckpiece, “is a tame collar.”

“A WHAT?!”

“This is supposedly to keep predators from acting out. Every predator in the city has one, under orders from Aires.”

“OH FUCK!” I said, “Aires took over, and is spreading chaos across the land. Oh my fucking god this is what I am trying to stop. I am a descendent of the McFluff bloodline, I should do something. What am I supposed to do? How will I ever get this off? THAT AIRES FUCKER IS GOING TO PA-"

I felt a shocking sensation around my neck. “WHAT THE FUCK!”

“Oh I forgot to tell you,” said Dr. DeTayra, “If you become too agitated, it will shock you. Green means calm, yellow means warning, and red means shock.”

I hung my head, not knowing what the fuck was going to happen now.

Suddenly the door opened. In came the rest of my family. All of them, Emmitt, Ashkii, Corey, and Piper were also wearing these “tame collars.”

“Alister,” Emmitt said slightly happily, “It is so great to see you awake.”

“But these collars can go fuck themselves,” Ashkii said.

They all came up to hug me. I hugged them back.

“Is it true?” I asked, “Are we really descended from the McFluff bloodline?”

“Likewise,” Emmitt responded, “It is starting the make more sense the more that I hear.”

“I am so glad to know that you are okay,” Corey said.

“And me too,” Piper squeaked.

Corey was wearing a black Ice Nine Quills shirt, while Emmitt was wearing an Otter Ogan Shirt, Ashkii was wearing her Elkuveitie shirt and Piper was wearing the same soccer uniform but also a Kreator hat.

“Alright,” said DeTayra to my family. “Alister is in stable condition. He will have to stay the night but will probably be home by tomorrow.”

My family wished their temporary goodbyes and left. I had some of the hospital food (not good) and went to sleep for the night.


	2. In Snoots We Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alister leaves the hospital to see just how much the Zootopia he knows has changed. Aries has taken complete control and has made the city a wasteland that looks like the dimension on the other side of the Terrorvortex. Almost as weird, Travis and Gideon Grey have started a surprising music project.

The next morning I was released from the hospital. Emmitt came in his car and picked me up. He was wearing a black Bat Religion shirt and a Deftones hat. 

“Alister, before you walk out of those doors, I warn you that the world has changed a lot.”

“Yes I know,” I said, “For example, these fucking tame collars.”

“That’s just the first part,” Emmitt said, “Soon you will see.”

“I say if I guess,” as the doors open, “It’s been two weeks, so the world better be- HOLY SHIT!”

As soon as I walked out, I could barely recognize the city that I’ve come to live in. The sky was colored a fiery red, and smoke was coming out from downtown.

“I told you,” said Emmitt, “nothing is the same.”

I then noticed a large statue rising up in the distance.

“Is that” I said, “AIRES?!”

“Yes it is,” Emmitt replied as we got into his car, “He has taken complete control. We are helpless.”

“But there has got to be a way,” I said, “It was all part of Ralathor’s prophecy.”

“But for now, there is barely anything for anyone to do,” Emmitt said.

We arrived back at our house in the rainforest district. The sky was still red, even in a place that is normally cloudy. Ashkii came out of the door, and so did my cousins.

“You’re back,” Corey said, “We need you. The world has gone to shit.”

“I can see that” I said, “This must all be undone someday.”

“What other someday,” said Ashkii, “then now?”

“Fuck yes,” said Piper.

Suddenly, I felt a fire start behind me. I looked back and saw a church burning. Out popped Revi with her flamethrower, and Duke Weaselton followed closely behind. Revi was still wearing her battle vest and had a black At The Goats shirt on underneath. Duke Weaselton was wearing black shorts and a black Lamb of God shirt. Both had tame collars on, and they were both beeping yellow.

“ALISTER!” Revi shouted, as she lowered her flamethrower, “so great to know you are back. Zootopia has become a complete skitthull.”

“And these collars are the fucking death of me,” Weaselton said as he lit a blunt off of the flames from the burning church.

“Wait Weaselton,” I said, “I didn’t know you smoked weed.”

“I do now,” the weasel said, “It prevents me from getting shocked nonstop. I also have increased my alcohol consumption.”

“But our band,” I said, “the other members are prey species. Are we even allowed to go near them?”

“We still are, for now,” Revi said, “I don’t know about later. But these collars control us when we are near them.”

Control. I don’t know what needs to be controlled, but I certainly don’t.

Suddenly, a loud boom sounded in the sky.

“I AM THE TERROR OF TUNDRATOWN!” said the disembodied voice, “THE HORROR OF SAVANNAH CENTRAL! NEMESIS OF THE RAINFOREST DISTRICT HARDCORE SCENE! COME FIGHT ME, ALISTER, AND YOU WILL MEET YOUR DEMISE!”

“Oh fuck,” I said, “Aires has controlled the airways. And why the fuck did he just say my name?”

“The world may never know, but he’s been doing this ever since he came to power,” said Ashkii, “Weaselton knows, as he awoke within seconds of the great taming.”

"Indeed I did,” he said, as he hit his blunt, “I’ve been here for all of this. Some predators still haven’t woken up.”

“But what about Hopps and Wilde,” I said, “are they still encased in stone?”

“They are,” replied Revi, “No one knows when they are ever coming out, or if they will ever be freed.”

“Fuck,” I said, “There has to be a way out of this. Ralathor said so.”

“Yeah but what if that wasn’t actually Ralathor and this whole thing is a farce,” another voice said.

“Who the fuck was that?” I asked.

I then looked over and saw a familiar face. It was Travis Dookson, the ferret from Bunnyburrow. He was wearing a black Vulvodynia shirt and ripped jeans and had Ingested piercings in his ears. He also was wearing a tame collar.

“Travis?” Ashkii asked, “the dude from that shitty one hit wonder?”

“Well I WAS that dude,” he said, “but after this whole shock collar shit started, I decided to take up slam metal. Stuckd is broken up.”

“Oh really,” said Revi, “Are you på ekte.”

“Yes I am for real. Gideon Grey and I have formed a duo, He does guitar and I do drums, we both cover vocal duty. The name is Hemorrhoidal Malfunction.”

“Well I got a band too,” I said, “Weaselton, and Revi and I, with a few others. We are called Pels Raseri, and we got one functioning practice in before all this hit. Now, we are not sure we can even get together. The other three members are all prey species.”

“Well,” said Travis, “I guess we will be making the most of this shitshow. It definitely won’t be getting any better.”

“IT WILL NEVER!” Aires’ disembodied voice bellowed.

“I really hope we get over this,” Ashkii said, “I just can’t have something else happen.”

She leaned into Emmitt and they both hugged.

“This definitely won’t be my last time seeing you,” Travis said, “I’m going back to Bunnyburrow for now. Gideon Grey needs me. We are supposed to record ‘All-out complete intestinal defecation of the Cranium’ tomorrow. It will be our first song.”

“Alright,” I said, “You have definitely cleaned up. Goodbye for now.”

He sped off in his pickup truck.

We went back into the house. It had been cleaned up from Corey’s birthday party. Revi and Weaselton came inside as well.

“Okay everyone,” Ashkii said, “Now that we are all together, we need to find out what we have to do.”

“Maybe just wait out the storm,” Emmitt said, “It will hopefully pass soon.”

“But we are McFluffs,” I said, “We must find some way to do some hero shit in all of this. Oh shit, I’m not a hero, I’m more bad than I am good, and I am afraid of doing hero shit.”

“Well I am descended from both Vikings and Samurai,” Weaselton said, “I got that power in me. Jævla yaban hito,” he combined both Norwegian and Japanese.

“Well I am a Viking,” Revi Hedensk said, “And can do some serious ass-kicking.”

“Well,” I said, “If we can’t be the good guys, then maybe we can be the lesser of two evils.”

“What if the Zootopia Police Department could help,” said Corey, “Have they done anything?”

“Well, so far they’ve been completely absent,” Revi said, “And also…”

BOOM!

“What the actual fuck?” Asked Piper.

We ran outside to see the commotion. Car alarms were going off left and right, and civilians were running down the street.

“The first of many battles?”

We then looked at who everyone was running away from.

“Is that…”

“Chief Bogo?”

Everyone’s jaw dropped.


	3. Rulers Of The Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chief Bogo has been corrupted by the evil wizard Aires and so has the rest of the police force.

Indeed it was Chief Bogo, along with other police officers. Chief Bogo had an evil look on his face and was wearing an evil uniform. He had evil red eyes that glowed. The others were also wearing evil uniforms, and appeared all evil and savage, including the evil glowing red eyes.

“CIVILIANS OF ZOOTOPIA!” Chief Bogo bellowed. His normal British accent was gone and now he spoke in an evil voice similar to that of Aires and Zargothrax.

“Oh fuck,” I said, “Chief Bogo has been corrupted.”

“IT IS I!” he bellowed, “THE CHAOSLORD BOGO! AND MY DEATHKILLERS OF ZOOTOPIA!”

We all laughed.

“Oh shit,” Weaselton said, “that name sounds like something a 7-year-old came up with on Fortnite.”

“It sounds like a fucking poser band,” Revi said.

“Even MY Fortnite name was cooler than that,” Corey said, “LontraKing10 was my username. But I don’t play that game anymore.”

“You totally fucking ripped off Proletius,” said Piper, “what’s next, ‘Rulers of the Universe?’”

“We are the Rulers of the Universe,” Bogo then bellowed, “The kings of Zootopia,”

“Ah, you are really just ripping off Gloryhammer now,” I said.

“And who says that you are the ‘king’?” Ashkii asked.

“And not everyone in your army is male,” said Emmitt.

“WE HAVE ALREADY SLAIN THOUSANDS OF CIVILIANS!” the evil chief bellowed in an evil way, “AND SOON, MANY MORE WILL BE CRUSHED UNDER THE WHEELS OF OUR EVIL POLICE CARS!”

“Evil police cars?!” I laughed, “WHAT A FUCKING POSER NOOB!”

“ALL OF YOU ARE WEAK UNDER MY POWER!” He roared, “SOON, YOU WILL ALL DIE!”

“Lol you really think so?” Ashkii asked, “I killed a wizard with a fucking hurdy-gurdy, completely by accident as well.”

“Hey, if you were a fight song,” Revi said, “You’d be “Headstrong”: the KIDZ BOP version!”

Suddenly, a loud staticky noise came from the sky above.

“MASTER BOGO!” shouted the voice. It was Aires.

“Okay,” I said, “I totally thought he was about to say ‘masturbate’.”

“UNLEASH YOUR ARMY OF EVIL TO SLAY MORE CIVILIANS IN THE RAINFOREST DISTRICT!”

“Okay now they are completely ripping off Gloryhammer,” Emmitt said, “MY UNCLE WAS ANGUS MCFLUFF XIII!”

Suddenly, Bogo responded. “I accept that command, Aires lord. DEATHKILLERS OF ZOOTOPIA, TIME TO BATTLE!”

They all charged toward the crowd of screaming innocent civilians. Some were running in an evil way (including an evil Clawhauser, who was very fast), and others were driving forth in evil cop cars.

Bogo was first/ He took out a flaming spear and hurled it at the panicking group. It exploded as soon is it hit the ground, killing all of them instantly. Fireballs were launched from the evil cruisers and killed everyone upon impact. Those who hadn’t been killed by the fireballs or by the spears were ripped apart by savage Deathkillers. All of the savage deathkillers were predators, and none actually had tame collars.

“Oh fuck,” Weaselton said, “Is this what happens to the predators who try to take off their tame collars?”

“Hopefully, it is just the ones on the police force,” I said, “Or now, the Deathkiller force.”

“THE POLICE WILL NEVER SAVE YOU NOW!” Bellowed Aires from above, “THEY ARE NOW THE DEATHKILLERS! MY ARMY THREW EVIL HAND GRENADES AT EVERY COP IN THE CITY. NOW, THEY SERVE ME AND MY REIGN OF CHAOS! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

“Okay, I’m actually scared now,” Revi said, “Can I stay the night in your house. I can sleep in the basement where Alister is.”

“I want to stay in your house too,” Weaselton said, “You all have been very nice to me.”

“You stoatally can, with all of this shit going on,” Ashkii said, “There are a few extra cots and mattresses in the basement.

The Deathkillers got back into their evil police cars and sped away. On the street lay hundreds of corpses, and many had also been vaporized.

“Fuck,” Emmitt said, “I guess he really was serious.”

“And now I’m actually kind of glad that Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde got turned into stone,” I said, “I can’t imagine them as deathkillers.”

We all went back inside and closed the door fast, to try to avoid any other evil encounters.

“Alright,” Ashkii said, “I guess we will just have to avoid evil at all costs.”

“I still feel like we can do something,” I said, “being descendent from the Epic Hero of Dundee.”

“We can possibly use the power of metal!” Weaselton said, “Even if it is only half of our band.”

“And the power of Odin McFluff!” Revi shouted, “And furniture!”

“For now,” Emmitt said, “We just wait and see.”

We then had a dinner of Scottish fried rice with cod. Both of our guests liked it. Corey went up to his room to watch Hentai, Piper went up to her room to kick her soccer ball, Ashkii went to play her Hurdy Gurdy, and Emmitt watered the flowers. Revi and Weaselton followed me down to the basement. We got out a speaker and started listening to Amaranthe (have you heard their song “Archangel”? It FUCKING RIPS!) and talked about our favorite bands. We talked about whether or not Sabaton could sell out the 22,000-capacity Sahara Amphitheater.

“They totally will get there one day,” Revi said, “They already sold out the Tundratown Ice Center, and that place holds 10,000.”

“And they will keep getting bigger,” I suggested, “They’ll eventually sell out the Zoo2 Arena. Maybe they will even sell out the Zootennial Stadium, just like Powerwolf did a few years ago.”

“And soon they may even be bigger than Powerwolf,” Weaselton said.

“Probably not likely,” Revi suggested, “No one will ever be as big as Powerwolf.”

“And I don’t want to see them above Zoo2 level,” I said “Zootennial Stadium is way too fucking large for a concert.”

“Plus the sound fucking sucks,” Weaselton said, “I saw AC/DC there one time and couldn’t even hear the individual instruments or the vocals.”

“And way too fucking expensive,” said Revi, “I’m not paying 100 bucks to watch my favorite band off of a fucking TV. I mean, at least the Powerwolf show was general admission so I got to the front row, but that is still too large as well.”

I was at that Sabaton concert at the Tundratown Ice Center. I had floor tickets on the side and close to the front. They had pyrotechnics and a whole tank onstage as well. They even performed some songs in Swedish because many of Tundratown’s inhabitants speak Swedish. However, everyone who lives there is also fluent in Norwegian.

“Powerwolf even said they might play the airport next time,” I said, “I heard them say that after the show and before Attila Dorn went savage.”

“What always is great,” Revi said, “Is that metal is getting bigger and bigger, especially power metal.”

“Indeed,” Weaselton and I both agreed.

We looked at the time and realized that it was already 1 am, so we eventually went to bed. I slept in the main bed, while Revi and Weaselton slept in two pull-out cots.


	4. Going Underground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Emmitt has a weird dream, Dashley Mustelle meets the crew at their house. She leads them to an underground lair where they meet a mysterious resistance leader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Otter’s Note: The night I wrote this, I watched a fox eating a rabbit. Just to be clear this will NOT happen in this story.

We woke up the next day. It was 12 pm. I never knew that Weaselton could snore so loud (he did), no wonder he lives by himself.

We all got ready. I was wearing a black Treevium shirt and a pair of shorts. Revi was wearing a Rammstein shirt underneath her battle vest and Weaselton was wearing a Quillswitch Engage shirt from their most recent tour.

We went upstairs, Emmitt and Ashkii were wearing their normal clothes, Piper was wearing her usual soccer uniform, and Corey was wearing a black Otter to Prevail t-shirt he got when we all went to the Summer Otter Tour.

“So I had a weird dream last night,” Emmitt said.

We all waited.

“It involved a Honey Badger. Not the doctor, a different one, and it was in some underground club.”

“Alright,” I said, “I’ve had weird dreams to. I once dreamed that the ‘Shit Boat No Fans’ music video happened to me in real life.”

“And I once dreamed that I met Iron Marten,” Weaselton said.

“But this was different,” Emmitt said, “there was something about a ‘rising’, starting underground and going higher.”

“Like Moose Springsteen?” Revi asked. (haha get it?)

“No this was completely different,” Emmitt said.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Ashkii said, “It could possibly be a sign.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Ashkii went over to open it. Standing right in the doorway was Dashley Mustelle, She had on a black Behemoth hoodie, a shiny pair of Volebeat pants, and an Alestorm prosthetic leg.

(Oh yeah and if you’re gonna be ableist shut the fuck up. Dashley has always been an amputee since she was first introduced started so deal with it).

“Greetings,” she said, “I have some news for all of you.”

“Oh shit I recognize her,” Revi said, “She is a regular at Tundratown shows.”

“Yes I am,” Dashley said, “and I am also Alister’s favorite teacher.”

“What the fuck is up my fucker,” I said, “So great to see you again. These tame collars are a fucking pain in the neck.”

“I’ve already been shocked an average of 10 times each day,” she replied, “I’m almost even getting used to it.”

“Ah, that’s nothing,” Weaselton said, “100 times a day for me.”

“Even that can’t break me,” Revi said, “1,346 times last Tuesday. A record!”

“Alright Dashley,” Ashkii said, “What is this news you have for all of us.”

“Follow me,” she said, as she walked down the steps.

We followed her. We locked the door and went down the street, she was shorter than all of us. Revi was the tallest in our group, but still only 3'2" (Nick Wilde is a whole 10" taller, while Palmer is 15 feet tall).

“So, I have a place to show all of you,” Dashley said, “It just came to be after Aires took over. Many Zootopia residents don’t even know it exists.”

“Alrighty then,” Corey said, “I would definitely like to see it.”

We rounded the corner and walked up to a familiar-looking building.

“Wait a minute,” Emmitt said, “This is Mystic Springs Oasis. I do naked yoga here.”

“Wait,” Weaselton said, “You do naked yoga?”

“Indeed,” Emmitt said, “Helps relieve stress.”

We walked into the entrance. There we saw the Owner, Yax completely asleep and naked.

“Sup motherfucker,” Ashkii said.

Dashley then took us around a corner and into a secret hallway.

“Okay, I never knew this was here,” Emmitt said.

Dashley then opened a door do an elevator.

“This will take you to the place.”

“If you say so,” Piper, “Are you sure this place is safe?”

“Oh stoatally,” Dashley responded.

We got in the elevator and the doors closed.

“This was once a coal mine, used by Badgercraft Inc. It was abandoned more than 50 years ago and barely anyone in the city knows about it.”

“This would make a cool concert venue” Revi said, “Wind Rose could stoatally play here. I AM A DWARF AND I'M DIGGING A HOLE!”

We reached the bottom.  
“We are deep enough that the tame collars don’t even work,” Dashley said.

We all had happy looks on our faces upon hearing the news.

“Hello again, Dashley,” said a black bear security guard, “Good to see you have new guests in The Basement.”

“Indeed,” she said, “this place will just keep growing.

The security guard let us inside and we rounded a corner. There, was a big, cavernous room. It had a dance floor, a stage, and a bar. On the stage was a Mink DJ, playing the dance remix of “Diggy Diggy Hole.”

“DJ MINKLER IN THE MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE!” he shouted.

Everyone in the room was a predator. They all had tame collars, but they didn’t work. Many were dancing around to the music that the DJ was playing. There were also Coati strippers pole dancing (I later learned that they worked at mystic springs oasis).

I looked over at the bar. There I saw Finnick the Fennec Fox. He was wearing a black Carnifox shirt and a pair of Betraying the Otters sunglasses. Next to him was the former mayor Leodore Lionheart. He was wearing a black Obituary shirt and Deicide chin piercings.

“Hey ma boi Finnick,” Lionheart said drunkenly, “try this whiskey, aged 5 whole years.”

Finnick took the shot glass and poured the liquor down his throat, but immediately spat it out.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” shouted Finnick, “THIS SHIT IS FUCKING HORRIBLE!”

“Well what did you think?” said the former Mayor Lionheart, “It’s the Trapt whiskey.”

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

“What the fuck is up motherfuckers,” Travis Dookson said. He was wearing a Cattle Decapitation Hoodie and ripped jeans. Gideon Grey was also there and was wearing a Lorna Shear t-shirt and a pair of Weasel War ear piercings.

“We got a whole band going,” Gideon Grey said in a thick southern accent that sounded like the pastor in the Nailwound video, “We just recorded our new song today, and plan to release it soon.”

“You knew about this place?” I asked, “because I had no fucking idea.”

“Fuck yes we did indeed,” Travis said, “we’ve been coming here since it opened. All the way from Bunnyburrow.”

“Oh yeah, you two have a slam metal band now,” Dashley said. She went to college in Bunnyburrow but is originally from Canada (Saskatoon to be specific).

“Hemorrhoidal Malfunction is the name,” Gideon Grey said, “And we are going to be the heaviest shit out of Bunnyburrow. Plus we just got a new band member. He's a marmot named James who does the bass.”

"James McMarmot!" I said, "he was my childhood friend before I moved here. I'm from Muskegon by the way."

"Yes that is him," Travis said, "and we got his brother Kyle as a roadie."

"So we both got bands now," I said.

"Indeed you do."

“GET YOUR FUCKING PAWS UP!” said DJ Minkler as the beat dropped. A massive mosh pit formed on the floor, and I, of course, went right inside of it.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Piper said.

Once the music was done, the lights went dark, and everyone crowded around the stage.

“Now that I have warmed you up,” said DJ Minkler, “it is time to introduce who everyone is here for, the one and only…”

We all waited in anticipation.

“HONEY BADGER!”

A honey badger walked out onstage, to the tune of “The Legend of Captain Yarrface” by Rumahoy. Everyone was cheering and she was hyping up the audience.

“Hello everyone again,” she said loudly once the crowd calmed down, “It is great to see so many familiar faces, but even better to see all of these new faces.”

Everyone looked at me, and all of the other new mammals in this club.

“Welcome to the basement, My name is Honey Badger, and I am leading the resistance!”

“Oh shit,” Emmitt said, “This is just what I dreamed about last night.”

“15 days ago,” she said, “the evil wizard Aires took over and subverted Zootopia under his control.”

“Yep indeed he did,” I said.

“He turned the entire police force into an evil death squad,” she said, “and forced us to wear tame collars.”

Everyone who was able to give the middle finger did so.

“And now,” she said, “he plans to go even further. Soon, all the insectivores will be wearing tame collars, and even the prey will be wearing tame collars one day. All that is left will be the sheep wizards.”

“Oh shit,” Ashkii said, “Is this actually real?”

“But we can no longer let this reign of terror control our great land!” she shouted, “The basement club will rise! And vanquish the wizard!!!!!!!!!!”

Everyone cheered.

“Now that I have given my speech, it is time to sing!”

DJ Minkler started to play “The Void” by Barkway drive, and the whole room went fucking crazy. Honey Badger grabbed a microphone and started karaokeing the vocals (she was a kick-ass singer). A large, 10-foot-tall, 1,500-pound Polar Bear stage dove and nearly crushed part of the audience. Dashley was crowd-surfing and stage dove as well. I got into the mosh pit, but Revi was really going crazy. Put her in a mosh pit, and it’s like she was hit by the Night Howlers as well.  
The song finished and everyone left.

“hey,” I said, “I want to know more, let’s stay here a bit so we can hear what this is all about.”

“Indeed,” Ashkii replied.

We followed Honey Badger backstage into the dressing room.


	5. The Last Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After following Honey Badger backstage and telling their stories to each other, Alister learns a new surprise about himself. He's in denial about it but many are now accepting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Otter's note: I saw the news! A new Disney+ series! Hopefully the entire OF&F saga can be included in it at least for a few episodes.

“Hey,” said the Honey Badger, “it’s you, the new ones. What are you doing back here?”

“We were interested,” Emmitt said, “I had a dream last night that involved you in it, even though I had no idea who you are or that this place even existed.”

“Well,” she said, “It stoatally exists. I gotta show you something.”

She opened the door to a big room. It was full of conspiracy shit like posters and webcam feeds.

“What the fuck is this?” I asked.

“You see,” she said, “I was a childhood friend of Nick Wilde. I also knew Finnick and even did some shit with Lionheart. They both get free drinks here.”

“Alright,” Ashkii said, “tell us more.”

“Well, I learned one day that the Ovid takeover would be upon us. It’s been rooted in the ancient times. You see, Zargothrax was a sheep, and so are many of the other rulers out there.”

“Okay then,” Weaselton said as he hit his blunt.

“I decided to go out and tell all the world about it once I knew that evil sheep wizards would one day stage a complete takeover. Everyone thought I was crazy. I was locked up in the mental asylum for weeks. Thankfully, Nick Wilde bailed me out. Now, he stands encased in stone, possibly never to return.”

“Well, I guess this time you were actually right,” Revi said, “imponerende.”

“Once I was bailed out, I hid in this underground former mine, and built an underground following as well. Once the takeover descended over the land, I knew it was time to bring everyone in here.”

“Ah, this place is like Minecraft,” I said, “The nostalgia factor is high.”

“Now, I have formed The Basement. Our goal is to rise back towards the top and defeat the evil wizards, restoring balance to our great land.”

“Thanks for sharing,” Corey said, “now we know.”

“Fuck yes,” squeaked Piper.

“Also, is your name really Honey Badger?”

“Yes it actually is,” Honey Badger responded to me, “Not so good with the naming.”

“Well, we also have something for you.”

“I’m all ears and piercings,” she was covered in piercings.

“Alright,” I started, “Three weeks ago, all of my favorite singers went savage and disappeared. I soon realized that this was the work of Zargothrax Alpha Clone One. The wizard took us through the terrorvortex, turned Nick Wilde into a toilet, and revealed themselves to be Dawn Bellwether. She tried to kill us, but Odin McFluff intervened. However, Ashkii here dealt the final blow with her Hurdy-Gurdy.”

“Completely accidental,” Ashkii said.

“After we were all rescued and restored by Christoferret Bowes, we thought we were all done. Just under a week later, Aires invaded the city and targeted us. He brought a whole army of sheep. Weaselton called in the Hootswolf to defeat the army. When we thought we won, Ralathor the badger came up and told the Hootswolf a prophecy: give Aires a slight tap. Ralathor had seen 1 billion different outcomes and said this one would work. The Hootswolf performed this action and re-aggravated the army. Aires sent out a laser blast that obliterated the Hootswolf and turned Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde into stone. The great taming commenced soon afterwards, and I awoke from a two-week coma to find this tame collar on my neck.”

“Ah, I always knew this was going to happen,” Honey Badger said, “It was just a matter of time.”

“And that isn’t even the weirdest part,” I said, “I learned that us, the Otterton family, were descended from the McFluff bloodline. Angus McFluff XIII was my great uncle and Angus McFluff was my 12-time great grandfather.”

Suddenly, Honey Badger’s jaw dropped. “Oh shit,” she said, “you are the one.”

“What do you mean ‘I’m the one’. I’m a fucking loser 18-year-old otter that lives in my Uncle’s basement.”

“You will be the one, the chosen descendent.”

“If you say so,” I said.

“You know,” Honey Badger said, “Angus McFluff XIII had no children, but his brother, Thomas did. Emmitt was one of Thomas’ children, and so was Larry. His grandchildren are named Corey, Piper, and Alister.”

“Yep,” said Piper, “That is us. The Otterton Family.”

“One day,” Honey Badger said, “the one named Alister will rise up against this reign of evil and triumph. He will get help from a weasel, a fox, a beaver, a moose, and a wombat.”

“Oh brennende kirker!” shouted Revi, “Weaselton she’s talking about our own fucking band: Pels Raseri.”

“Yes,” Weaselton said, “I’m the lead guitarist, Revi is the drummer, and Alister is the singer.”

“Aires is nearly unstoppable,” said the mustelid, “He can’t be encased in stone, ice, or imprisoned in any other way. The only way to stop him is by killing him.”

“Oh fuck,” Emmitt said, “That’s a bit too far for my taste.”

“You may think that at first, but you will all soon realize the truth. I wish all of you the best of luck,” Honey Badger said, “I got some shit to do.”

Honey Badger walked away. We left the backstage area and met Dashley by the elevator.

“She’s crazy,” I said to Dashley, “She told me some shit about me being ‘the chosen one’ and the one that will save the city, let alone the entire universe.”

“I mean, possibly,” Dashley said, “you’re my favorite student after all.”

“But I’m not a hero,” I said, “I will go to hell. I burn churches and listen to metal.”

“But anyone can be a hero,” Dashley responded, “if they try hard enough.”

“Yes,” I said, “but it’s hard to see myself in that role. She also said that the only way to defeat Aires is by killing him. There is NO FUCKING WAY that I’m killing anyone, no matter how bad they are. I mean, Bellwether’s death was completely accidental.”

“Indeed,” said Ashkii, “I’m usually against killing as well.”

As the elevator got to the top, we soon got off to see Finnick and Lionheart.

“RASERI!” Finnick shouted, “Give ‘em HELVETE!”

“Best of luck to you motherfuckers,” said Lionheart.

“Okay, even they are all in on this shit,” I said, “I told you, she is fucking crazy, but she can fucking sing like a beast though.”

“I never thought I was going to actually be a teacher,” Dashley said, “but look at me now. Just like Judy Hopps said, ‘anything is possible’.”

“Alright,” I said, “I can try.”

I fist bumped Dashley and we went our separate ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also RIP Tommy "Tiny" Lister


	6. A Musical Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alister runs into Jason Elkley, who now works for Aires. Upon this encounter, he finds another surprise about himself. After he returns to his house, he receives a mysterious gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Otter's Note: I'm sorry I didn't update, I was on vacation in Fort Wayne. There was absolutely nothing to do there so I immediately came back.

We just turned the corner onto the street when we saw a familiar face. It was Jason Elkley. He was wearing preppy clothes and a hat that said “All Hail Aires” on it. He was a prey species and did not have a tame collar on.

“Oh fuck,” I said, “He’s part of this whole thing, he always seemed suspicious. He told me about Aires before I even knew what was going to happen.”

“Stop there,” he said, “you are tamed.”

“With these collars,” I said, “but I’m nowhere near tamed.”

“Ah tell me all about it,” Revi said, “These are a total rumpesmerter.”

“You are the fucker that Alister told me about,” Weaselton said, “and now I get to meet you in the flesh.”

“Aires is in control now,” Elkley said preppily, “and you are not.”

“Thanks captain obvious,” Emmitt said, “It’s been two weeks, we all know now.”

“Meanwhile, I have been commanded as the tamer enforcer by Aires, I’ve known him and knew this was going to happen, and that I’ll be a part of it.”

“Oh you fucking motherfucker,” Ashkii said, “You will fucking pay for this as well.”

Ashkii approached, her tame collar started to beep yellow.

“STAY BACK!” said Jason Elkley in a poser evil voice.

“Well fuck you,” said Corey.

“PREP!” shouted Piper.

“Well, you are tamed, and I am not. Soon, more will be tamed, and we will be unstoppable!”

“Oh you think,” I said, as I approached.

“Stand back!” he said.

“How about NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Everyone looked at me.

“Did I really just sing that?” I said, “I wasn’t even trying. What the actual fuck?”

“Oh you and your pathetic vocals,” said the elk, “Are no match for the power of chaos.”

“We will rise!” I growled in an unclean scream, “And crush your power!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Damn,” Weaselton said, “You really are quite a good singer.”

“And I’m not even trying!” I sang.

“Oh, you are trying to make this a little fucking musical?” Elkley said, “want your dreams to come true? Well they won’t, and I will make sure to crush any sign of resistance. I can turn all of your shocks up.”

“You shall not!” I screamed, “We will rise!”

“Oh no,” Elkley said scared now, “You Satanist. I will tell Aires about you trying to do this, and there will be consequences!”

The cervid then ran away, and everyone was awestruck looking at me.

“Holy shit,” Revi said, “No wonder Weaselton suggested you be the singer.”

“Alister,” Ashkii said, “I never knew about this. Why didn’t you tell?”

“I never knew about this either,” I said, “I wasn’t even trying to sing, or scream. I didn’t even know I could do unclean vocals.”

“KAWAII!” Corey said.

“Fucking rager!” squeaked Piper.

“Well,” Revi said, as she set fire to a church, “maybe we can soon find the rest of the members. It looks like we can still go around prey species.”

“Fuck yes,” Weaselton said, as he lit a blunt off of the burning church.

We continued down to our house.

“Maybe Honey Badger was partially right,” I said, “I might possibly be a good singer, and our band may even find success.”

“I would love for Pels Raseri to find success,” Revi said, “But not too big.”

“Yeah, I only really want to play small venues,” Weaselton said.

“Mrs. Otterton?” Revi asked, “You and Emmitt are pretty nice, can I stay in your house again?”

“Can I stay the night again as well?” Weaselton asked.

“Of fucking course,” Ashkii said, “You two have been nice as well. Once Alister got us into metal, we learned that metalheads are not all bad.

I did indeed get them into metal. I got into metal when I was 13 going on 14, and heard Slipknotter for the first time, and fucking loved them. My parents were not impressed (and it is why I was kicked out of the house), but I introduced it to my “real” family when I moved in and they loved it as well, and now we listen to so many different types of metal.

We then got to the house to see a package on our front porch.

“Who the fuck delivered this?” Asked Corey.

I had a closer look.

“Honey Badger delivered this,” I said, “I wonder what it is?”

We took the package into the house. I starter to open it. Inside was another box with a note on it. The note said, “You will need this soon.”

“Alright,” Ashkii said, “Feel free to open this.”

I opened it. Inside was a microphone. It was colored green and said “magic” on it.

“Okay,” I said, “A wireless microphone, but I don’t see any receiver. How the fuck is it supposed to work?”

“Maybe magic,” Revi said, “It says ‘magic’ on it.”

“Alright,” I said, “That might be possible, or it could be that Honey Badger is crazy.”

“Possibly,” Weaselton said.

“Hey everyone,” Emmitt said, “Someone just uploaded Otter Ogan’s full set from the show we went to on Zootube.”

We sat down in the TV room and plugged in the computer.

I saw the whole thing. I saw where I appeared in it as well. The part came where I sang into the microphone.

“Holy shit,” I said, “I actually did sing that very well. I never knew I could do that.”

“Well you can,” Ashkii said.

Suddenly, I started feeling sad.

“I just wish times were still like the way they were before Aires came to power,” I said.

“We all do,” Revi said, “No one likes this except for those with Aires relations.”

“Of course,” said Weaselton, “Everyone wants the old Zootopia back.”

“And I thought the whole Night Howler scare was bad,” Ashkii said.

“But we can change!” I suddenly shouted, “And it will start with us!”

Everyone soon looked.

“I didn’t even mean to say it like that,” I said, “What the fuck is going on? I should just continue watching the video.”

We continued watching, seeing everyone stage dive. Suddenly, I saw a familiar audience member stage dive.

“Wait, Revi,” I said, “that was you stage diving.”

“Indeed it was,” she said, “and there is Dashley as well.”

“Wait,” I said, “were you also at the Alestorm show?”

“Yes I was,” Revi said, “Weaselton and I were front row.”

“Oh I thought I saw you there,” Weaselton said to me.

“So we all went to the same concert trio I guess,” Ashkii said.

“Indeed we all did,” said Revi.

The video ended.


	7. Everything starts with a Boom!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Later in the day, Alister learns that everyone else is now in on this whole idea of him being "the one". Meanwhile, Aires sends in more tame collars to the city's population/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Otter’s note: the new Amaranthe album fucking rips. Also so does Corey Taylor’s new solo album.

It was now the late afternoon. The TV was still on in the TV room. Dinner was being made. I was looking at my phone to see news.

“Have you gotten to hear that new Amaranthe album,” Revi asked, “it is so fucking great.”

“I know,” I said, “They never disappoint.”

“Hopefully, when this shit is over, we get to see live bands again and they are included.”

“Oh shit,” I said, “Hemorrhoidal Malfunction dropped their first track. It is called ‘All-out complete intestinal defecation of the Cranium.’”

“Play it,” said Revi.

I opened up the song and started playing it. It started out with a sample of someone saying “poop” over and over again before going into the full song. Blast beats were pounding, and Travis’s vocals were pretty much inaudible. A huge difference from his butt-rock days. Gideon Grey did backing screams, and his backing sceams were also inaudible. There was a breakdown, with a massive “BREE” in it and the song only lasted about a minute.

“Oh that was fucking sick!” Weaselton said, “I can’t wait for more.”

“Fucking rager,” said Revi.

“Hold on,” I said. I looked at their Instagram ad for their new song. The description pulled me in.

“It says, on their Instagram, ‘this song goes out to mah boi Alister Otterton, who soon will rid Zootopia of the powers of chaos.’”

“Oh fuck,” Emmitt said from another room.

“Maybe Honey Badger is right after all,” I said, “Maybe I can be a hero.”

“I wonder,” Weaselton said, “If she thinks our band can actually defeat the powers of chaos.”

“Now that is actually crazy,” Revi said, “We’ve only got one practice in and have never even written or recorded any song.”

“Stoatally,” I said, “Maybe she was talking about us individually, and not as a band.”

“Could be,” Weaselton said, “I can use fireworks.”

“And I’ll use my flamethrower,” Revi said.

“I still don’t know what I will use, but oh well.”

We all looked at each other and decided to change the topic. We were now talking about how Otter Ogan had an album coming out soon.

“Hey everyone,” Ashkii said, “look on TV right now.”

We all rushed over to the TV room. On TV was the pop star Gazelle, who is one of the most famous musicians in all of Zootopia but still not as famous as Powerwolf. She was wearing a black Morbid Angel shirt and spiked t-shirt cuffs.

“Damn,” Corey said, “I never knew Gazelle was metalhead.”

“I guess she is,” Revi said, “Glad to know we got more coming.”

“We should not let this moment define our city,” Gazelle said, “Chaos has tried to take over our lives. Predators are in shock collars now. The sky is an evil red, and the whole police force is commanded by chaos. We can and will rise, we will stop this reign of evil, and restore justice to the land. Four years ago, we all got through the night howler scare together, and now it is time to get through this. Everyone can be a hero. But if you need a hero to look forward to, look no further than Alister Otterton and his band Pels Raseri.”

Everyone’s jaw dropped.

“Oh fuck,” I said, “now even the mainstream media is in on this. Everyone knows my name now. I think this might actually be real. Or maybe everyone is still crazy.”  
“Hellig dritt,” Revi said in Norwegian, “We don’t even have original music, and have barely been together. Even Hemorrhoidal Malfunction has done more shit than we have, and we are probably their only fans outside of Bunnyburrow.”

“And I only just learned guitar,” Weaselton said, “however, I still mastered it in an extremely fast time.”

“I guess this might really happen,” Emmitt said, “Maybe it’s the McFluff bloodline.”

“That would be great,” Ashkii said, “Maybe I can join in even if I’m not fully related.”

By the way, Ashkii’s maiden last name is Lutrana.

“That would be fucking epic!” Piper squeaked, “WE ARE THE MCFLUFFS!”

“Very Kawaii,” said Corey, “My weebishness can probably annoy the fuck out of the wizards.”

FWHOOSH! A loud noise sounded outside.

“What the actual fuck was that?” Revi said, “Better not be coming for us.”

We all ran out to the front window.

“HOLY SHIT!”

We saw outside, there was a small shrew and a tamandua. The tamandua was up and looking at the shrew, who appeared to be unconscious. The tamandua then started to feel around their neck. That is when I realized.

“Uhhh, everyone?” I said, “Aires has come again. Now the insectivores have been tamed as well.”

There was a tame collar around the neck of the tamandua, and another tame collar around the neck of the shrew. The tamandua frantically called an ambulance that waited to arrive.

“Oh fuck,” Ashkii said, “Honey Badger was right. Now it isn’t just predators, it’s the insectivores as well.”

“Soon,” Emmitt said, “it may be everyone who isn’t an evil sheep wizard.”

“OH FUCK!” Revi said.

“NOW YOU HAVE BEEN TAMED!” Aires bellowed from above, “NOW YOU ARE IN CONTROL! BOW BEFORE MY POWER!”

We all ran back into the back of the house.

“That is what I heard after I got tamed as well,” Weaselton said, “I was out for only a second, so I pretty much remember the whole thing.”

There was a breaking news report on TV. Fabienne Growley` and Peter Moosebridge were still sitting next to each other. Fabienne Growley, being a Snow Leopard, was wearing a tame collar.

“It looks like predators and prey can still at least work with each other,” Weaselton said, “That gives me hope. Maybe our band can soon reform.”

“More bad news from a city gripped by the evil powers of chaos,” Growley said. “More tame collars have been unleashed on the city’s population. This time, it’s the insectivores that had them.”

“Meanwhile, the citizens now have some hope,” Moosebridge said, “There has been talk that someone with the name of Alister Otterton can bring justice, and some rumors of a band called ‘Pels Raseri.’”

“Fuck,” I said, “Now I’m trending.”

“You really are,” Weaselton said, “’Who is this ‘Alister Otterton’ that everyone is talking about?’” He said as he read the headline of an article.

“That is me,” I said, “stoatally me. Everyone really believes it.”

“Oh here is another one,” Revi said, “‘Did Alister Otterton assist in the Powerwolf church burning?’”

“Yes I did,” I said, “And everyone knows about my band now as well.”

“Alright,” Emmitt said, “that’s enough weirdness for today. Now, let’s have dinner.”

We had dinner of sautéed scallops (very delicious). Afterwards, we went to bed early due to our late night last night.


	8. SURPRISE MOTHERF*CKER!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the bandmates come over to Alister's house, here to talk about the rumors going around town. The other members are just as confused as to what is happening. However, a magical surprise happens right when no one is looking.

The next morning, I awoke and went upstairs. I was wearing a black Betraying the Otters shirt. Weaselton was wearing an Amaranthe shirt, and Revi was wearing the clothing she always wears and had a Mayhem shirt underneath.

“Ah Weaselton,” Revi said, “you fucking snore so loud.”

“Sorry, it’s a habit,” Weaselton responded.

All I had for breakfast was a single protein bar. We were sitting in the living room, chilling with each other. We were talking about whether or not Hemorrhoidal Malfunction would play next year’s Summer Otter Tour.

“They stoatally can,” I said, “I had a friend who I went to summer camp who played the Summer Otter Zootopia tour date last year.”

“I mean, they can possibly get the Bunnyburrow date,” Weaselton said, “but I’m not fully sure about getting the full-on tour.”

“Quite possibly,” Revi said, “If they get a few EPs out or possibly even an entire album.”

Suddenly, there was knocking on our door.

“Who the fuck is that?” Ashkii said from another room.

I looked outside to see who was there.

“Oh shit everyone,” I said, “It’s the rest of our band.”

We went over to open the door.

“Hello everyone,” Lizzy Slapdon said, “I wasn’t sure if we were even allowed to see each other, with this whole ‘taming’ thing happening.”

“Hey, I guess that is what is around your neck?” Palmer said.

“Yes indeed, these are the tame collars.”

“We got something to talk about,” Winston said, “may we come in?”

We let them in and gathered in the living room. Lizzy was wearing a Megadeth “Rust in Peace” shirt, Palmer was wearing an Avenged Sevenfold shirt, while Winston was wearing a Barkway Drive shirt.

“So,” Lizzy said, “We came here today because of the news that we heard yesterday.”

“Oh, yes, Gazelle’s speech on TV?”

“That is exactly what it was,” Palmer said.

“We have been finding this very odd,” said Winston, “I have no idea what the fuck is going on and why our band was mentioned, more specifically our singer.”

“Oh yes,” Revi said, “this started yesterday.”

“We have a story as well,” Weaselton said.

“Do tell,” said Lizzy.

“So,” I started, “My teacher, Dashley Mustelle, came to my door and took us to this secret underground place called The Basement. Many of the city’s predators were there, and our tame collars didn’t work there. At one point, a Honey Badger named ‘Honey Badger’ came out and talked about a resistance. Afterwards, we followed her back into her room. Turns out, she was a conspiracy theorist that was predicting Aries’ takeover the whole time. We then, in turn, told her about what happened to us. We eventually mentioned that we were descendants of the McFluff bloodline. That is when this whole thing went off the rails. Honey Badger started going on about how I am ‘the chosen one’ and will be the one who brings back justice. I thought she was crazy.”

“Alrighty then,” said Palmer, “that sure is fucknuts.”

“On our way out, Dashley started to support this whole thing. Even Finnick and the former mayor Lionheart supported it. Travis Dookson’s new slam metal band also supported it.”

“What the actual fuck?” said Winston.

“And now it get’s even weirder. I ran into Jason Elkley who now works for Aires as a ‘taming enforcer’. I then unwillingly started to talk back to him. After that, I started singing and wasn’t even trying to. My singing voice was actually pretty good. I eventually did some unclean growling, also against my will, and he ran away.”  
“For real?” Asked Lizzy.

“Yes I am not shitting you. I think this whole thing might actually be happening, but I’m not sure about the band. I mean, what the fuck am I going to do with Aires, sing him to death?”

“Don’t know,” Palmer said, “but the future holds many surprises.”

“I mean, that is true,” I responded, “but I’m still not fully sure about this.”

“Alrighty then,” said Winston.

“And one more thing. Yesterday, I received a ‘magic microphone’ from Honey Badger that didn’t have a receiver. There was a note that said, ‘you will need this in a bit’.

Suddenly, someone drove by blaring shitty-ass prep music on full blast. We went over to look.

“Ah, what a fucking prep,” Lizzy said, “Horrible taste.”

“Yeah, and… WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”

We turned around and looked at the living room floor.

“That’s my fucking guitar,” Weaselton said, “how the fuck did that end up here.”

“And my entire kit,” said Revi, “five bass drums and 50 pieces total.”

“And MY guitar as well,” said Winston (his guitar had the Australian flag).

“And that’s my fucking bass,” said Lizzy.

“And my keyboard!” shouted Palmer.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”

Suddenly, Emmitt came in. He was wearing a Chelsea Grin shirt with the sleeves ripped off.

“Okay, what the fuck happened now?” he said, “HOLY SHIT!”

“I swear,” Lizzy said, “none of us brought any of that in here.”

“It just appeared randomly after we had turned around,” said Revi.

“And, we had only turned around for a few seconds,” Weaselton said.

“Okay, some weird shit is going on right now,” said Emmitt, “Yes, I know magic is real, but what the fuck kind of magic is this shit!”

“Some weird shit,” said Palmer.

“Bloody fucknuts,” said Winston, “Bugger.”

“This whole place just gets weirder and weirder,” Weaselton said, “I thought we were back to normal after the night howlers.”

Suddenly, I thought of something.

“Oh fuck,” I said, “I think I know what is going on?”

“What the fuck is going on?” Asked Revi, “because I don’t fucking know.”

“I think that this whole thing is a trap. I think Aires put these in our house to trick us. I think that if we touch them, or try to play them, something bad will happen.”

“What bad thing?” Emmitt asked.

“I don’t know what this ‘bad thing’ will be, but it will definitely be something.”

“Oh fuck!” Weaselton said, “I’m gonna smoke another blunt now.”

“We’re all fucked.”


	9. Best Read While Intoxicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all of the band member's musical instruments magically appear in the house, everyone is at a loss of what to do. Wondering if this is a trap, they are all pretty wary. When one of them is touched, they are afraid that the trap has been triggered. However, they all get swirled into another bizarre sequence of events.

Ashkii and the two pups came in. Ashkii was wearing a Slayer shirt from their farewell tour, Corey was wearing an Entheos shirt and a River Otters of Nihil hat, while Piper was wearing her soccer uniform but also had on a Gojira hat.

“Hey what is goin’ on?” Ashkii asked, “How did all of your equipment end up in the house. Did you bring that all in?”

“It was NOT any of us,” Lizzy said, “We didn’t even have our instruments when we entered the house.”

“And I never brought my guitar over to this house in the first place,” Weaselton said as he smoked a very strong-smelling blunt.

“And I can’t even get my drumkit through the door in one piece,” said Revi.

“We think it might be a magic spell that Aires cast on us,” I said.

“That makes the most sense,” Piper said.

“And” Palmer said, “Alister suspected that it might be a trap.”

“We are worried that something is going to happen if we touch one of our instruments.”

“Weird AF,” Corey said, “Not Kawaii.”

“I suggest,” I said as I stood up, “that we let some of our close ones know. We should let Dashley know about this. Let’s even let Honey Badger know about this. Maybe she knows what happens next.”

“Okay,” Ashkii said, “that would make a lot of sense.”

“I’m going to go text both of them right now,” I said, getting my phone out, “I’ll tell them that- “

As I was moving around, I accidentally hit Revi’s kit.

“Oh fuck,” I said, “I really did it. What the fuck is going to happen now?”

We waited in suspense for something to happen.

“Alright,” Emmitt said, “Well, it’s been a whole minute now and nothing has happened, so I think we are safe.”

“Good,” I said, “but I still don’t have a fucking clue why all of our instruments are in the house. I mean, Palmer’s keyboard can barely fit. He himself is 15 feet tall.”

“And even more with Antlers included,” Palmer said, “but that’s seasonal.”

“I mean, who the fuck would have done this,” I said, “It seems to not be Aires this time.”

“I mean, maybe it has something to do with the McFluff bloodline?”

“Could be,” I said, “but this even seems to weird for Angus to do, I mean why the fuck- “

Suddenly, the room started to swirl around. Objects became blurs and the whole sight was dizzying.

“Okay, what the fuck is happening now?” I asked.

“Weirder and fucking weirder,” said Weaselton.

“for djevelens kjærlighet,” said Revi.

“This is definitely not the terrorvortex,” Emmitt said, “this is something completely different.”

Suddenly, all of the swirling stopped.

“What the fuck is next?” said Ashkii, “Just, whoever the fuck is doing this, please show us.”

We were slammed forward with a neck-snapping speed. It was even faster than the fastest roller coaster I’ve been on.

“What the fuck is happening?!” Corey shouted.

“What the fuck is this, Doctor Strange?” Asked Piper.

It definitely did remind me of the “out of body” scene in Doctor Strange.

“Maybe Ralathor is doing this,” I said, “Part of the prophecy. He is like the Doctor Strange in this world now.”

Suddenly, the colors started to swirl again. Everything was looking weird. Revi was multiplying like cells, while Weaselton had suddenly gotten very large. Palmer had shrunk, Lizzy had her tail get very big, and Winston had his arms get very small.

“Where the fuck is my head!” Emmitt shouted. I looked over to see that his head had pretty much disappeared.

“I’m falling apart,” Ashkii said. She was literally falling apart.

“I’ve been re-arranged,” Corey said. He had two heads where his legs should be and something else where his head should be.

“Sdrawkcab gnihtyreve gniod m’I dna!” Piper shouted backwards.

Weaselton was huge now, Palmer was tiny, and there were at least 5 million Revis and growing. I then took a look at myself.

“Oh fuck. I don’t feel so good.” I said. I realized that I was disintegrating. My feet were the first to go and then my front paws were starting to go as well.

“I want to go back to the terrorvortex!” I shouted, but no one else seemed to hear me. My body was going piece by piece. Now I was only left with a head, and even that was disintegrating into dust quickly.

“Goodbye everyone,” I said.

Right as the last part of me disintegrated, we were spat out onto the ground. I looked at myself and saw that I still had every body part. Everyone else was back to their normal selves as well.

“That was fucking awesome!” shouted Piper.

“And I thought the terrorvortex was weird,” Emmitt shouted.

“Where the fuck are we?” Asked Ashkii.

I looked around. There were tall buildings everywhere, among them was a statue of Aires that was even taller than the rest of the skyscrapers in the city. I saw next to me the city’s main train station. There were also broken-down streetcars. There was a massive plaza that was completely empty. All of the civilians were on the side, looking at us. I also saw a familiar park with a pond in it. However, the pond was all lava. Also, near the center, were Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde, still encased in stone.

“Oh shit,” I said, “We’re in Savanna Central.”

“It’s all changed,” Revi said, “Like a complete ghost town. All the citizens are standing on the side. It’s like they don’t want to go in.”

“And it’s all evil as well!” said Weaselton, “And Hopps and Wilde ended up here.”

Suddenly, there was a loud whooshing noise, and our instruments landed right next to us. Surprisingly, nothing broke.

“It’s like the instruments are following us,” I said, “What the fuck does this mean.”

“Everyone,” Corey said, “Look.”

Suddenly, we saw an army descend from the sky.

“Oh shit,” said Lizzy.

“It’s Aires,” said Palmer.

“And he will fucking kick our asses,” Winston said.

Aires and his army of evil stood on the other side of the plaza, facing us directly.

“So,” Aires said, “We meet again. I will ascend to the highest power possible. Zargothrax was just the beginning. Soon, all of you will be completely powerless!”

“Oh shit,” I said, “it’s for real now.”

Suddenly, a disembodied voice sounder from the sky. It was not Aires, but someone completely different. It uttered four chilling words.

“Welcome to the battlefield.”


	10. The Battle of Savanna Central

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he faces his foe, Alister leads an epic battle against the evil wizard Aires by using the power of metal.

“The WHAT?!” I shouted.

“Alister Otterton,” the voice said, “This is the battlefield.”

“Who the fuck are you and how do you know my name?”

“You know who I am, You will recognize me once I come down.”

“If you say so,” I said back.

“Now, pick up your instruments,” said the voice.

We each picked up our instruments.

“The one named Duke Weaselton, play your guitar.”

“But I don’t even have an amp with me,” Weaselton said, “It won’t fucking work.”

“DO IT!”

Weaselton started playing his guitar. It was making noise despite not having an amp. Suddenly, he started playing very sick riff.

“Holy shit!” Weaselton said, “I made that up on the spot. And that was FUCKING BRILLIANT!”

“Now,” said the voice, “everyone else join in.”

The rest of my band joined in. Revi, Palmer, Lizzy, and Winston. They added the rhythm and Palmer added an additional keyboard riff. A song intro came to be.

“Oh shit,” said Revi, “that was more lit than a church.”

“Now, Alister Otterton,” said the voice “sing!”

I took a deep breath and started.

“Savanna Central lays barren today, as the armies gather round,” I was a surprisingly good singer. Weaselton started playing another riff as well.

“Good vs Evil, Justice vs Chaos, will battle on this ground,”

“Damn, Alister,” said Corey, “I didn’t know you were such a good singer.”

“Aires and his Army of Chaos, ready for the clash today. Pels Raseri on the other side, a song of epicness they will play!”

Aires was starting to get more angry, and so did the army. Civilians on the sidelines were looking over at both sides.

“Bring in Honey Badger and her resistance crew, ready for a raging fight.”

Soon, Honey Badger stepped in along with other members of The Basement, including Finnick, Lionheart, Travis, Gideon Grey, and Dashley Mustelle. They all had their own weapons.

“Bring in the Deathkillers, slaughter will happen tonight!”

Suddenly, Chaoslord Bogo and the Deathkillers of Zootopia came in.

“LET THE EPIC FINAL BATTLE BEGIN!” I shouted into the microphone.

Bogo’s and Badger’s armies faced each other, ready for an all-out fight.

“CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!” I screamed, as the rest of the band kicked in a heavy battle song.

Honey Badger’s League charged forth, weapons in hand. Some were holding laser blasters, some were holding flamethrowers, and some were just going the “less is more” method and bringing small knives. Bogo and the Deathkillers of Zootopia charged towards the league, some were completely savage, while others were driving their evil police cars. They met and clashed in the middle. Some members of both sides were killed instantly. Bodies were piling fast.

“The two chaos armies make battle, Bodies pile and mammals die, screams are penetrating into the skyyyyyyyyyy!” I sang.

“Dashley will use her final command, bringing the chaos army down.”

Soon, Dashley climbed onto Honey Badger’s back, “GETTEM!” she shouted.

“Honey Badger lasers the chaos horde, shoving them all into the ground. The Deathkillers are all obliterated on sight, Bogo dies tonight!”

Just then, Revi Hedensk, did a sick drum fill, and we went into the chorus.

“Tonight, a battle will be fight! Good vs Evil, Chaos vs Justice, on the lands of the great city. Make war, let them know who the fuck you are! Tonight the battlefield is raging with power and might, it’s time to FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT, THE BATTLE OF SAVANNA CENTRAL!”

That was a sick fucking chorus.

“Mwah ha ha ha ha,” Aires laughed maniacally, “What a horrible way to fight, even without the Deathkillers, I am unstoppable. Soon I will have complete control over the land, and none of you can ever stop me!” His army began to charge forth.

“Bring in the heroes of Dundee! Bringing the enemy to their knees” I sang.

Soon, the heroes descended. Angus McFluff XIII came in the way he looked during the “Space 1992” days. Proletius the bear brought in his Knights of Crail (he was his good self this time). Ralathor came in on the SS Hootsforce, his mighty flying submarine. And then descended the Hootswolf.

“Hootswolf?” Ashkii asked, “I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!”

“Didn’t die,” replied the Hootswolf, “I made myself disappear right before the blast came through and spent my time in another dimension. When the call was needed, I came back.”

“Hopefully,” said Proletius, “I won’t die this time.”

“Underground no more,” said Ralathor, “Submarine in the sky!”

Suddenly, Angus spoke.

“I have returned,” said Angus, “to my descendants. Emmitt, my nephew, my grandnephew Corey, and Grandniece Piper. And, of course,” he said as he looked at me, “my grandnephew Alister!”

I was looking directly at him now, still shocked to hear that I was of his bloodline.

“You are doing pretty good. I was the one who commanded you to sing, and it is helping the battle. Don’t stop now!”

“Heroes of Dundee!” I sang, “Charge into Aries’ army!”

They charged into Aires’ army, weapons in hand, and fought.

“I have beaten you once,” Aires said, “and I can defeat you again!”

“The heroes and villains clash together, Fire, light, and chaos, explode around. Hootswolf with his battleaxe, Angus with his hammer, kill off wizards with the power of their anger. Ralathor fires his missiles, depleting the horde more! Proletius and his knights, charge furthermore! Aires uses his staff to fire lasers. The knights are hit! The wizards throw fireballs to further the strike! Proletius dies once again!”

“Ah Proletius, for fucks sake,” Angus said, “Can you stop dying!”

We repeated our chorus as the armies continued to clash.

“You will never stop me!” Aries said, “Soon, I will be ruler of the entire Universe! And everyone will bow before my power!”

“This battle still has much more time to go!” I sang. “We will all need to crush our foes!”

The epic battle raged on, as the armies fought to their death.

“Bring in the bear and bring in Bunbun!” I sang, “Send in Big Chungus!”

Suddenly, a bear rode in on a tractor. “Bear on a tractor!” he shouted.

Also on the tractor was a ferret with a laser gun. “I am Bunbun and this is my Gungun,” said the ferret.

“We are here to kick your fucking ass tonight!” They both shouted.

Suddenly, a 50-foot-tall rabbit stomped in. “Here comes Big Chungus!” shouted the rabbit, “here to save the fucking world.”

“Bear on a Tractor comes right on through!” I sang, “Running wizards under his deadly wheels! Bunbun fires lasers from her gungun, vaprorizing wizards with a thrill.”

Bunbun and the bear killed even more wizards and the army shrank.

“Big Chungus, the biggest bunny alive!” I sang, “Use your size as an advantage! You will literally crush your foes under your feet!”

Big Chungus jumped in the air, right towards the wizards.

“Chungus flattens evil right under his feet! The army will soon all be beat! Aires will no longer have power; the reign will end this very hour!”

We went back into the chorus, as the battle continued to rage on.

“Even with a smaller army, I still can’t be stopped!” Aires said, “Soon, I will rule all of you. Now, it is time. ANYONE WHO ISN’T AN EVIL SHEEP WIZARD WILL BE TAMED! AND EVERYONE WILL HAVE THE VOLTAGE RAISED!”

“Oh fuck,” Honey Badger said, “I knew it.”

“Wait,” said Jason Elkley, as he stepped in, “does that include me!”

“Yes!” Aires said, “That includes you. You are my ally no more.”

“What the fuck dude!” Elkley said, “When I signed up to do this, I was told that I would get free unlimited clothing from Vineyard Vines and Chainsmokers concert tickets if I did this. YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!”

“COMMENCE THE FINAL TAMING!” Aires said.

“Do you really think you want to do this!” I sand, “We have the power, we have the fury, we have RASERI!” I hit a high note.

Suddenly more taming collars appeared in the air.

“TAMING WILL BE NO MORE!” I sang, “TIME TO FUCKING ROAR! BREAK FREE FROM THE BURDENS ON YOUR NECK!”

Suddenly, my tame collar sputtered and broke off my neck, dissolving into dust. The same thing happened with everyone else.

“It is time to free, the fox and the bunny, HOPPS AND WILDE BREAK OUT OF THEIR PRISON OF STOOOOOOOOOOOONE!”

Suddenly, Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde broke out of their rocky prisons and onto the ground.

“Oh fuck,” Judy Hopps said, “That was so fucking painful. I might have to follow Emmitt Otterton along to do yoga at Mystic Springs.”

“And I thought turning into a toilet was bad,” Nick Wilde said.

“Nick Wilde, Judy Hopps, free at last, joining the battle’s epic cast, the wizard will fall today!”

“Oh fuck,” Nick Wilde said, “what the fuck happened now?”

“it’s like the terrorvortex times ten million,” said Judy Hopps.

“We still need to defeat our foe!” I sang, “There is only one way to go!”

"Oh Nick," Judy Hopps said, "I just realized something."

"What is it," Nick Wilde said.

"This battlefield will be a great place for a looooooong kiss. Our longest yet."

"What the actual fuck, carrots!" Nick said, "You are certainly crazy but in a great way."

"Hopps and Wilde get in the zone! They will kiss tonight!"

The two then went right in front of Aires and started a long interspecies kissing session.

"Ah, what the fuck!" said Aires, "that is fucking disgusting, what the fuck kind of fight move is this. You're not supposed to fucking kiss another species. Ah, I gotta cover my eyes! This is too much. I WILL LASER BOTH OF YOU TO DEATH!"

"Aires pulls out his laser staff, and unleashes it's final zap," I sang, "It's pointed in the wrong direction, his army dies with a snap!"

"OH FUCK!" Aires said, "I used my last blow. IT DID NOT GET THE FOX AND THE RABBIT!" He turned around to face where his army used to be, "FUCK!"

“Now that Aires is distracted!” I sang, “We know just what to do! We take our band right up towards him and leave him black and blue!”

We then teleported right by Aires and right where Judy and Nick were kissing.

“What are you going to do to me!” shouted Aires, “music me to death!”

“That is the total plan!” I screamed into the microphone.

“Pathetic,” Aires said.

“I can sing like a fucking beast!” I sang, “Soon you will be deceased! We can make heavy music! And you will be gone with a flick!!!!!!!!”

Suddenly, the music started getting extremely heavy and extremely fast. We were going All Guns Blazing.

“And now!” I shouted, “On the Hurdy Gurdy, Ashkii Otterton!”

Ashkii picked up her Hurdy Gurdy and started playing a sick solo. It mixed well with the rest of our music.

“Ah, a fucking Hurdy Gury,” said Aires, “Even your pathetic little tunes can’t save you! Soon, I will be everywhere!”

“I can sing, and I can scream!” I sang into the mic “You will be no match for our team! Pels Raseri is here to stay! Metal will triumph to this day!”

Our band started to build to a crescendo, and then the music paused for a bit.

“This is the moment,” I thought, “it is the time.”

I took a deep breath before singing the final line.

“TIME TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Suddenly, Aires and the rest of his army exploded, sending blood and guts everywhere. We then finished our song.

“YEAH!” shouted all of the civilians from the sidelines.

“Very good,” said Angus.

My family ran over.

“Oh Alister,” Emmitt said, “I love you so fucking much.”

I looked around at the rest of my bandmates, they were all as awestruck as I was.

“HOLY FUCKEN SHIET!” Nick Wilde shouted. He and Judy Hopps had stopped kissing now.

I then saw the rest of the battlefield. I noticed that Honey Badger was still alive but severely wounded. Dashley also had many wounds. Travis and Gideon were barely holding onto life, and Finnick and Lionheart were both dead. None of the Deathkillers were still alive.

Suddenly, I noticed that the rest of my band members were stumbling around, looking like they could pass out any second. Suddenly, I didn’t start feeling well either. My head became a big blur and I started to feel dizzy.

“ALISTER!” Ashkii shouted.

I fell to the ground and everything went numb.


	11. The After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alister is still awestruck at the events that just unfolded, as is everyone.

“Alister,” a voice said, “come forth.”

I looked forward and saw a bright light in front of me.

“Come to the light,” said the voice, “Here, you will find everything you want.”

“Oh shit really,” I said, but no one responded.

I continued to walk to the light and was now right outside of it.

“Reach in,” said the voice, “and you will see.”

I started to reach into the light but pulled my paw back.

“You know what,” I said, “This is all a scam, I’m going back.”

I then ran away from the light and into a dizzying, flashing maze. Everything went dark until suddenly; I opened my eyes.

“Alister!” Ashkii said as she ran up and hugged me, I hugged her back.

“Did I just die?” I asked.

“You did,” Emmitt said, “you were out for 10 minutes. So were the other band members.”

I looked over and saw the rest of my band lying down and starting to breathe again. However, it was a musteline figure that caught my eye.

“Oi lads,” said Christoferret Bowes, “I’ve saved yarr arses once again. All who died or got wounded in battle is currently being restored to their original selves. Well, except for Aires.”

“Thank you so much, Ferret Bowes,” Ashkii said.

“No, I don’t need to be thanked,” he replied, “Alister and his crew need to be thanked.” He rode away on his tractor.

I slowly got up and looked around. I heard civilians on the sideline chanting my name and also chanting the band’s name.

“Did I just die?” Weaselton asked.

“Yes, I died as well,” Revi said.

“Fucking hell,” said Palmer.

“I was just about to enter the light,” said Lizzy.

“From death and back to life just like a boomerang,” said Winston.

One by one, Bogo and his police force reappeared, back to their original selves.

“What the actual fuck just happened,” said Bogo.

“It’s a long story,” Ashkii told them, “In short, Alister just saved the world.”

All of Honey Badger’s resistance crew came back as well.

“Ah,” said Finnick, “coming back from death requires a night at the bar. Hey Badger! Judy! Nick! Want to get drunk tonight!”

“Fuck yeah,” Nick Wilde said, “Oh shit, is that Honey Badger?”

“Yep,” said Honey Badger, “it’s me. I’ll tell you what happened at the bar. In short, my conspiracy came true.”

“We’ll want to hear about it,” said Judy Hopps, “over some rum shots.”

Dashley came right towards me.

“Alister!” she said, as she hugged me, “You saved all of us.”

Proletius the bear re-appeared and now the heroes were all back together.

“Oh fuck,” said Proletius, “did I just die again.”

“Yes you did,” said the Hootswolf.

“But now all of the heroes are back together,” said Ralathor.

“Oi hoots,” said Bogo, “it’s really you and the whole entire gang.”

“For sure,” replied the Hootswolf, “and we’re all back together.”

“Maybe if we have the heroes here,” said Bogo, “we can majorly decrease police presence and funding. Who needs cops when you have the Heroes of Dundee.”

“No longer of Dundee,” said Angus, “but the Heroes of Zootopia!”

They all raised their paws in the sky.

“I guess I am back to being the mayor again,” said Lionheart, “but it was a fun time drinking.”

“Ay, Gideon!” Travis said as he hugged Gideon Grey, “The band’s back.”

“Ah, we got a few songs to record, and also our first EP,” said Gideon Grey.

“The next one will be called ‘Urethral Vomititis Fetishization’,” Travis said.

“Sick!” said Corey, “now THAT is the shit I’m into.”

“All right everyone,” said Bogo, “Time to go.”

He and the rest of the officers went back to their posts.

“All right everyone,” said Honey Badger, “it was great to know you, I’ll stay in contact with all of you.”

“See you at the bar!” Finnick said.

“Wait,” said Judy Hopps as she looked at Big Chungus, “you’re my fucking cousin.”

“Indeed I am,” said Big Chungus, “But I got to go now,” he stomped off into the distance.

“We will continue to visit,” said Bunbun.

“But now we got to go,” said Bear on a Tractor.

The two disappeared through a portal and into another dimension.

“Hey,” said Jason Elkley as he came up to me, “I know I used to be harsh on you, but you just saved my life. Aires completely deceived me.”

“So,” I said, “does this mean that you are trying to be my friend now?”

“Yes it does,” he said, “I will even start listening to the music that you’re into.”

“Stoatally,” I said, “Enemies no more.”

He walked off into the distance.

“Alright,” said the heroes, “time to go back.”

“I will text you,” said Weaselton to the Hootswolf, “I will keep you in contact like I always have. Same with the rest of you.”

“Okay then,” said The Hootswolf.

All of them disappeared except for Angus, who came right up to me.

“Grandnephew Alister,” said Angus, “Great work from a hero.”

“I guess I really just saved the world,” I said, still awestruck.

“You did great, kid,” said Angus, “I have a present for you.”

He pulled out a smaller replica of the Hammer of Glory.

“This,” said Angus, “is a magical recording hammer. It will record songs right as you play them. You can plug it into a computer. It’s already recorded ‘The Battle of Savanna Central’, now, you can use it to record a whole album.”

“Alright,” I said, “now we got to write some songs.”

“Oh yes,” said Angus, “And also, the hammer can magically write songs if you think of them and if you are holding it. Your instruments are magical too, so each part will be composed on the spot.”

“But I wrote today’s song entirely on the spot,” I said, “and I didn’t even have the hammer.”

“Indeed,” said Angus, “that was my power. I used the Hammer’s magic on you so you could make up a song on the spot.”

“Oh fuck yes,” I replied, “You seriously are the fucking greatest.”

“No,” said Angus, “YOU are the great one. You just saved everyone. Now, I must go, but I will stay in the city along with the rest of my gang. We can stop any evil that arises.”

Angus then jumped back up into the sky.

“Alister,” Judy Hopps said, “thank you for saving us.”

“And sick song too,” said Nick, “We will support your band. PELS RASERI FOREVER!”

The two walked off into the distance.

“Alright everyone,” Weaselton said, “time to go back.”

“We’ve got an album to write,” said Revi.

We all went back to my house which was now home to a hero.


	12. Give 'em Helvete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few weeks later, Pels Raseri is now the biggest band of all time, and are now about to play a legendary concert. Alister Otterton is more famous than anyone in the world.

We arrived at the Old Zootopia Airfield, which no longer has flights. A massive stage was set up, even bigger than Powerwolf’s stage.

“Alright,” I said, “It’s official: We are the biggest band in the world.”

“We already have the highest selling album of all time,” Revi said.

“and we only just released it today,” said Weaselton.

We recorded our first album not too long ago. It was titled Raseri. It had contained 20 songs and was 75 minutes long. Each band member had a part with the song writing. Most songs were in English, but some were in Norwegian. Songs contained on the album included “Flamethrower to a Church” (written by Revi), “Red Rocket Roller Coaster” (Written by Weaselton), “Epic Raging Thrasher Basher” (written by Lizzy), “Don’t fuck with Down Under,” (written by Winston), “Evil Fucking Wizard” (written by Palmer), “Mustelid Metal Maniac” (written by me), and, of course, “The Battle of Savanna Central” as the closing song.

Immediately after we got back from the battle, we released “The Battle of Savanna Central.” It went 100x platinum within 30 seconds. It has been number one everywhere in the world for the last few weeks. We then announced an album release show at the Old Zootopia Airfield. All 5 million tickets sold out within a second, and completely dwarfed the Powerwolf show (they will also play a show here later, with 500,000 in attendance but still smaller than our show). and the concert will be broadcast on TV around the world as well. Angus McFluff is now our manager while Dashley is our booking agent. Everyone loves me now and I am also the most popular kid in school as well. Corey also finally reunited with his friends and they continue to watch Hentai but this time in his room.

“All-fucking-righty,” said Palmer, “biggest fucking concert ever.”

“And even more watching on TV,” said Lizzy.

“The same population of Sydney,” said Winston.

We walked back to our dressing room, which was in a trailer. The rest of my family was also hanging out there. Emmitt was wearing an Arch Enemy shirt, Ashkii was wearing a Hemorrhoidal Malfunction hoodie, Corey was wearing a Babymetal shirt, while Piper was wearing her soccer uniform and a Battle Beast hat.

“Holy shit Alister,” said Emmitt, “you really are doing this aren’t you.”

“I’m so proud of you,” said Ashkii, “and so is everyone.”

“Give em Helvete,” said Corey (that has been our band’s catchphrase and also the title of our opening track).

“You fucking rock,” said Piper.

We then performed our soundcheck and walked backstage to hang out before our show started. We all had our instruments with us. I was wearing black shorts along with my Otter Ogan shirt, Weaselton was shirtless and had athletic shorts, Revi was wearing her battle vest and had spiked clothing all over and corpse paint, Lizzy was wearing a Death Angel shirt and ripped jeans with a Megadeth patch on them, Winston was wearing a Barkway Drive shirt and Australian flag underwear with no pants, and Palmer was wearing a black robe like Zargothrax.

A skunk then trundled backstage.

“Alright,” said the skunk, “Pels Raseri, you will be onstage in 60 seconds.”

“Fuck yes!” We all shouted.

We stood near the entrance to the stage while our intro played. We all huddled into each other.v  
“Pels Raseri is life,” I said, “now break it down on three, ONE TWO THREE!”

“GIVE EM HELVETE!”

We walked onstage one at a time and took our places. Revi then hit a cymbal a few times and the curtain dropped. We looked out as we started to play “Give em Helvete”. The crowd was even louder than we were. It stretched so far back I couldn’t even see the end of it. I pranced around the stage with multitudinous energy as I sang and screamed the lyrics to the song.

“Give em Helvete!” I sang “Show them what the fuck you’re made of!”

The entire crowd cheered for us and there were 2,000 mosh pits as well. Weaselton had extreme amounts of energy and pretended to swordfight his guitar with Lizzy’s bass (Weaselton plays right-handed, while Winston and Lizzy both play left-handed). Lizzy was all over the stage, climbing as high as possible sometimes. Winston was continuously throwing picks into the crowd. Palmer had a treadmill that he walked on while he played his epic keyboard. Revi had a 50-piece drumkit that she played and had 5 different bass drums. It was also attached to a gyroscopic contraption that spun her in the air as she played. There were also ramps everywhere onstage that we all continued to run on and jump off. We also had epic proportions of pyrotechnics, even more than a Rammstein concert. The crowd kept crowd surfing. My family watched from the side of the stage, impressed. I saw many familiar faces in the crowd. Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde were front row. Travis, Gideon, Finnick, Lionheart, Bogo, and Clawhauser were all there as well, as I noticed all of them crowd surfing (and there was A LOT of crowd surfing). I even saw Jason Elkley in the mosh pit (he is now converted to a metalhead) and Flash the sloth forming the slowest circle pit ever.

We played our entire album but not in order. We also did a bunch of cover songs and a lot of stage banter to keep the crowd engaged. I even invited a Sable to stage dive while we performed “Epic Raging Thrasher Basher”. We managed to get a two-hour set in, including the encore.

We walked backstage during the encore to get some water and dry the sweat off and soon walked back onstage. Our first song of the encore was “Flamethrower to a Church,” which had the most fire of any song (I almost got burned from the pyro). We continued our encore as the crowd continued to go crazy.

“ALL FUCKING RIGHT ZOOTOPIA!” I screamed into the microphone, “We are Pels Raseri!”

“On rhythm guitar!” I said, “Winston Trundleby!”

Cheering followed.

“On the bass!” I screamed, “Lizzy Slapdon!”

More cheering.

“On keyboards!” I shouted, “Palmer Dulap.”

Even more cheering.

“On the drums!” I yelled, “Revi Hedensk!”

Yet even more cheering.

“On lead guitar!” I bellowed, “Duke Weaselton!”

The cheering continued.

“And on lead vocals, Yours Truly! Alister McFluff!”

The crowd cheered the loudest for that one.

“Now!” I shouted, “DO YOU WANNA HEAR ONE MORE FUCKING SONG!”

Everyone cheered.

“All fucking right! This one is called ‘The Battle of Savanna Central’!”

The crowd cheered the loudest they ever did for the night as we kicked into the song. I got chills just thinking about performing this for the first time since the battle, but soon got through. The entire crowd was moving and mosh pits were everywhere. There were also a complete fuckton of crowd surfers. Pyro was going off everywhere and we were running around the stage. We also brought out Ashkii for the Hurdy-Gurdy solo. On the big screen behind us, live footage of our performance was interspersed with footage of the battle. We finally finished playing the song and took our final bows in front of 5 million screaming fans. A firework finale played as we did so, and eventually walked back to the stage.

“Holy fucking shit!” I said, “I can’t believe we really fucking did that.”

“I fucking love you so much!” Emmitt said, as she ran up and hugged me.

“Fucking rager!” Corey said.

We went back to the trailer to cool down. There, we met Dashley.

“Hey everyone,” she said, “I got some news for you.”

“Do tell,” Weaselton said.

“You have been booked on a world tour,” she said, “It will be the biggest tour ever.”

“Holy shit!” Revi said, “fuck yes we are doing this world tour.”

“And that’s not all,” she said, “but we’ve also booked you a permanent residency at the Zoo2 Arena. You will be performing there once a month. Sometimes even twice a month!”

“Oh shit!” we all shouted. The Zoo2 arena actually has decent sound, due to the use of curtains.

“But for now,” said Dashley, “enjoy your band.”

The rest of my family walked in.

“I heard the news as well!” Ashkii said, “I’m very proud!”

“Fuck yes!” said Piper.

“Fucking epic!” said Corey!

“Hell to the fucking yes!” said Ashkii.

“It is so great to be in the band with all of you,” I said to my bandmates.v  
“This is my fucking life!” Weaselton said.

“Jeg kunne dø for denne dritten!” said Revi in Norwegian.

“We fucking raged,” said Lizzy.

“Oh fuck yes!” said Palmer.

“This is so much fucking better than my old band,” Winston said.

We leaned into huddle.

“All fucking right,” I said, “on my count, ONE TWO THREE!”

“PELS RASERI FOREVER!”

We raised our fists in the air.

Oh, how fucking awesome is this life.

The End

No animals were harmed in the making of this.


End file.
